Seeking My Better Half

In past times a man might introduce his partner, generally his wife, as "My Better Half". I haven't heard that introduction in quite a while, and I started to think about it. There is a school of thought that to be manly a man should do his thing and not apologize. That's BS. Men, as well as women, are imperfect, and make mistakes all the time. A true man recognizes when he is in error, corrects the mistakes, apologizes for any harm and moves on. Now the man who isn't confidant of what he is and what he does and makes apologies for his every action is another story. But recognizing your faults and correcting them is a sign of a true man.

And in my mind, a man with a partner that helps him correct his faults, works with him toward common goals, supports him in his dreams, is the kind of partner a true man wishes to find. We have bought into the notion of codependency and individuality to such an extent that we miss the real value and need for a pair of human beings to form a partnership that is complementary in nature and in which the real human needs of intimacy, sharing, love, warmth, passion, touch, sensuality are recognized, shared, and met. In wanting to avoid the pairing of two needy people, we are in danger of missing the ideal of two adults, responsible for their own needs, forming a bond and helping each other.

That brings to mind that other descriptor, "helpmate". Who doesn't want a little help from time to time? And a partner who sees your needs, accepts them, fulfills them, and gives you the gift of being able to fulfill theirs in turn?

I have known some awesome couples. Couples that seemed to read each others minds. Couples that shared great life goals. Couples that moved in concert with one another. There is an old saying in the military: "Any man can make colonel. It takes a great wife to make general." (Of course today, everything can be reversed for the woman in today's military.) Setting aside the images of a wife wearing her husband's rank, or of the woman subsuming her life to her husband's career, the saying speaks to recognizing one's situation, setting goals, and achieving them through the help of one's partner. None of this "Me an island" stuff. Doesn't everyone need and want a little assistance?